Why Do We Want to Be Alone Sometimes?

Are there ever those days where you just want to be yourself and not with anyone else like your friends and family? It’s not like you don’t like them... but you just simply can’t stand being with them at the moment. Well, guess what, you’re not alone in that. Most people, including myself, sometimes need alone time without anyone. Time for you and you yourself. But why does this happen to us? Why, how even if we are usually social, just have the urge or desire to be alone?

One way to explain this is that you might be an introvert, someone who tends to be more quiet, intuitive, and reserved individuals, or basically, someone who does not enjoy social gatherings or interactions as much as others do. Compared to others like extroverts (the sort of opposite of introverts), introverts have an overall lower dopamine level. What exactly is dopamine? Dopamine is a chemical in your brain that is in charge of your feelings of pleasure and happiness and it also determines how much energy you have to do something. Social interactions take a lot of energy, so introverts who have lower dopamine levels (lower energy) would feel very drained from social gatherings. For some, this might explain why you want to be alone all the time. However, if you’re not an introvert, you just might not crave alone time as much as introverts but obviously, at some points in your life, you would still want it because it's a human trait to have alone time.

You might not be an introvert but you might just simply be a deep and creative thinker. When you are by yourself, you are able to be alone in your thoughts as well. Your mind is able to wander around freely, leading to more creativity and insightful thinking. This means that you’re able to think without any peer or social pressure. Not only this, but you might also focus better on your work when you are by yourself. Other people can create a lot of distractions like talking, which can stop you from working at your best. You would also be constantly interrupted and can’t work efficiently or being able to work for short amounts of time. For example, studying with friends might be bad because you often get carried away talking to them and can’t focus on your work or your own thoughts.

Although too much alone time to the point where you never interact with people is bad for you, having a little time for yourself can actually have good effects.

BETTER MEMORY
One of them is having a better memory. When you’re working with people, you might tend to depend on others for remembering certain things. Think about it like this. You’re working on a group project. You’ll probably be remembering some parts of the topic of the project but you won’t remember your WHOLE topic because you have your other members who are remembering the other things. And it would be perfectly fine not to know the whole topic because you can just ask your group members. But you’d be at a loss because you’re remembering fewer things than if you were in a single person project. Collaborative working does have its advantages but it can be bad for your memory. There was a study done that showed that people who worked together had remembered less than those who worked alone. When you’re alone like working on a project yourself, you are required to remember more because you can only depend on yourself for the information, not others.

KNOWING YOURSELF AND EMPATHY
Another benefit is that you get to truly know yourself. You are able to do things you enjoy and actually want to do, which sometimes doesn’t happen when you’re with people. You also can put yourself first and explore different interests. With this also comes with the benefit of being more empathetic. Empathy is understanding and share feelings with others. If you cry in a sad scene of a movie, you are showing some empathy. When you spend time away from others and people you have relationships with, it actually makes your relationship stronger because you are not forced to talk to the person all the time. Even taking a small break off your electronics like your phone and computer will help you become more empathic because you can take some time to get a different perspective on and understand better other people’s emotions.

So no. You're not crazy for wanting some alone time. You're simply a human being who needs it sometimes, and those times can actually be good for you! Yay!

Picture Source: psychologytoday.com