The Psychology Behind Love and Romance

Why do we love? And why do we love the people we do? Relationships obviously have a strong influence on us; they provide us with the social support we need to thrive. Think about your past and present relationship partners. How have these relationships affected you? And what made you choose to be close with them?

According to Robert Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love, the three main components of love are intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy comprises elements of attachment, closeness, and bondedness. Passion is the expression of physical and psychological desires and needs within the relationship. Commitment is the imperative decision to stay in the relationship. This theory allows for eight types of love: empty, non-love, infatuation, romantic, companionate, consummate, fatuous, liking. This triangle of love can be used as a metaphor; rather than a strict geometric model of what love is.

So, we covered what love means for the most part. What happens to our brains when we are in love? At the beginning of meeting your potential partner, dopamine levels skyrocket. This increases surge of dopamine causes what we call "the butterflies" and excitement when we see our newly beloved. The nerve growth factor, a neurotrophin, increases our emotional dependency on our partners. Lastly, serotonin levels decrease, which increases desire. Displays of affection such as cuddling, kissing, and hugging increases the peptide hormone oxytocin. Studies conducted with MRI scans show that love activates the pleasure center of the brain, a sign of increased blood flow in this area.

For the most part, love is a great thing to be experienced; leading to greater feelings of joy and wellbeing. Now, check in on your significant other and friends; send them some love to increase their dopamine levels!